Chapters 5 & 6 record an argument between the newly married couple. What do you think they argue about?? Sex!
He asks to come into her chambers (5:2), and she complains in verse 3… “I’m in my nightgown—do you expect me to get dressed? I’m bathed and in bed—do you want me to get dirty?” She’s being self-centered and is not considering him.
But instead of reacting angrily toward his new wife, the husband somehow reaches his hand through the latch of the door and leaves fragrant and sweet myrrh as a sign of his love (5:4-5), and then he leaves…not willing to force his way into her bed chambers. He doesn’t react to his mate. Instead, he responds to God.
His gentle reproach melts her heart toward him as we read of her love in verses 5:10-16.
And then we see reconciliation and forgiveness in Chapter 6. Their reconciliation is based on their covenant commitment to one another. She says in 6:3, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Their commitment is steadfast.
Chapters 7-8 show a deepening faithfulness and intimacy between the couple. As time goes by, their knowledge of one another deepens and their passion increases! It is in this context of God’s design for marriage that we see a subtle lifting of the curses given in the first garden to the first married couple…
In Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve sinned, God handed down curses to the serpent, the woman and the man. The woman’s curse was this:
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16).
The Hebrew word translated “desire” is used only three times in the Old Testament…The first instance is here in Genesis 3. The next is in Genesis 4. God is warning Cain.
…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it (Genesis 4:7).
The Hebrew word translated as “desire” in these instances does not necessarily mean a good sexual desire. Within the context of Eve’s curse and Cain’s warning, it is best understood as a passionate desire to consume or control.
The curse on Eve – which is inherited by every woman in every generation – is the desire to have control. Married women want to control their husbands. Single women want to control their futures. And all women want to feel in control all the time. This desire for control is part of the woman’s sin nature and must be fought against – especially in the marriage relationship!!
In the last half of the Song of Solomon, we see the ideal marriage. We watch as the couple faces conflict in Chapters 5-6, and we read as their devotion and intimacy deepen in Chapters 7-8. It is in the context of a vibrant, intimate, tender and exciting marriage relationship that we see the third and final use of the Hebrew word “desire.” The woman says,
I am my beloved’s,
and his desire is for me (Song of Solomon 7:10).
He is the one with the desire to consume, and she is the one with the power to satisfy him. In this context, the desire is good, for contrary to her sin-nature default of desiring to control her husband, she has given herself totally to him and rejoices in the fact that she is pleasing to him.
May we look forward to the day when every curse is not only reversed, but vanquished and our new Garden awaits its bride!!! For we, the church, are the bride of Christ, ready to meet our husband and enjoy him forever!!